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mercifulserpent) wrote2008-07-06 02:10 pm
posting this in case it's useful to anyone :)
Maria’s College Advice for the Younger RBS:
Hi everyone –
I wasn’t able to be on the call last weekend because my phone was having issues. However, I had written up some notes and posted to a listserv I’m on in preparation. Here’s a running list of advice I wanted to share. As always, I’m available at XXXXX if you need someone to talk to, want someone to read over a paper, or have any other questions about going to college.
1) If you have to work on campus, try to get a job with a professor you love. I worked as a research assistant for my minor advisor, and she changed my life.
a) This is especially important if you want to go to grad school. You’ll need at least 3 professors willing to write a recommendation for you, and it’ll look really good if they’ve known you for longer than a semester. Plus, if you need someone to go to bat for you (in my case, I wanted to transfer in my credits from another university, and my major advisor wasn’t feeling that) they’ll be more likely to take that risk for someone they’ve worked with.
b) This doesn’t need to be a faculty member of color – it just needs to be someone you connect with.
2) Get involved with someone in the administration… especially in the dean’s office. I worked a lot with the two deans who dealt with institutional diversity and multicultural affairs. They put me in touch with many opportunities that I’m still reaping the benefits of, like scholarship organizations for grad school.
3) Take a position in your dorm. I was a social events planner and eventually joined ResLife. While I didn't always LIKE my housemates, I felt really proud that I worked so hard to change house community for the better.
4) Do something that’s just for you… whether that’s band, social justice work, whatever. Consider this your second major. It’ll give you something to base your identity around when academics/personal life are starting to explode. For me, this was poetry and creative writing. I organized several open mic nights, started an ezine, and eventually was a featured poet for a regional antiwar rally. While doing all this, my loser ex-boyfriend was being a loser… when he finally broke up with me, I was sad for a few days (which is totally healthy) but then I was like, “He’s a loser… I’m not. I have causes I care about, family who loves me, and friends who think I’m pretty all right. Plus, I have ish to do.”
5) Take in campus culture. Your student fees have paid for a lot of events/services on campus. Find out what, then use it.
6) If you've never done sports, try joining a club -- it'll get you out your comfort zone, AND you'll meet a lot of people that way. I did crew my first year, and even though I quit my soph. year, that really informed my college experience.
7) Bring food. Seriously, everyone loves the girl with the Girl Scout cookies.
8) Listen to your advisor but take their words with a grain of salt. I thought I could handle a junior level art history class my first year. I couldn't. :( However, the advisor who told me not to take that ALSO told me not to try out for the ultra exclusive creative writing courses. I ignored her then, and ended up taking classes with some amazing poets. I was the youngest person in those classes but I learned so much.
9) Befriend a big kid. Some of my best and first friends were upperclass women who also lived in my house. They knew the college, so could help me avoid pitfalls.
a) This goes double if you're a first generation college student, because there are some college insights that those before you won't be able to tell you, not having done it.
10) Go to at least one black students’ alliance meeting, and go to ALL the mixers. At first, you'll only have your race in common. As the semester progresses, you'll eventually realize you're sharing an amazing experience... in a predominantly white institution... That means that as students of color you have a weird, but powerful, bond.
a) Form allegiances with other POC. My closest friend now is a bi Bengali guy – one of the first things we bonded over is how it’s really odd to be the only brown face in many of our classes, and the way your physical appearance/race/religion leads people to make assumptions about your sexuality.
b) You should, hopefully, make friends with some local POC this way. In that case, make friends with the whole family, if possible. Sometimes you need an adult, or can’t afford to go home for a random holiday like Thanksgiving. It’s nice to have a family to stay with for things like that.
11) Do stuff at other campuses. My school was part of the five college consortium -- I took at least one class at all the other schools, and learned a lot about where my education succeeded and failed. I also joined a few clubs on other campuses. While this was a time commitment, it meant I had a circle of friends completely outside the campus, who I could hang out with when the drama got intense. Even if it means learning a new bus system on your own and checking out some stuff locally, let your campus be your home, but not your prison.
12) New friends are silver/old friends are gold. The friends I made in college are much healthier for me now then the friends I made in HS. That's painful, but true. HOWEVER, my HS friends were there for me when I was an angsty adolescent. It's hard to juggle being in touch with people who've made really radically different life choices than you have, but for me, part of not sucking as a BAP is not losing touch with these people.
13) Keep it real. That does not mean keep it trifling or keep it judgmental. For me, that means acknowledging the *reality* of a situation. Sometimes being in higher ed is a painful place -- admit that, work it out, and move on. You are only false if you start ignoring what your heart and body are trying to tell you about the work you're doing and the life you're living.
14) Use campus resources— often, schools offer tutoring in math, English, and biology, or have free book programs. If you need the help, ask for it. Heck, Smith offered to help to students who’d never taken horseback riding lessons or photography purchase their equipment. They also offered to help pay for people who broke their glasses and couldn’t afford to get new ones. I really wish I’d taken advantage of that!
15) Don't feel obligated to be THE black person. People will be trifling and ask you random questions about hair, “black culture”, the ghetto… tell them they’re out of line. If it’s a prof trying to make you be the black voice in the classroom, respectfully call them on that.
16) If your institution and situation allow for it, live on campus at LEAST one year. This is the best way to feel connected to your college community.
17) Realize there will be people who have literally never been around real-life black folks before. Tread lightly, but joyously. One of my best friends in college was a clueless white girl who’d never, ever met a black girl who wasn’t a maid. She was from
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